Pictured: Our saviour

Pumpkins are taking all the glory these days - it's Halloween, and armies of them are ermeging from the depths of hell while naïve parents are welcoming them in their homes. It's terrifying, and it's my concern that no one has linked them to the 9/11 attack yet. Their involvement is obvious! But it's up to us now, and tonight WE DINE IN HELL! ...since George Clooney is busy taking all the tomatoes out, Chuck Norris is impossible to find amongst all the Halloween impersonators and every single pumpkin is up here with us, so it's really our only option. We're living in a vegetable infested nightmare, and our only hope is this World Peace enforcing watermelon carving.

God bless you, World Peace enforcing watermelon carving. In you we trust.

Tribute to Garl

Garl, it was love at first sight; although your hostile appearance could scar anyone getting too close, I had to have you. I've always loved a challenge, and oh boy, Garl, how you challenged me. I was just a foreigner in Berlin, yet somehow I managed to get my hands on you - not without a a fight, I've still got scratches from our first encounter - and we held a beautiful wedding, right there by the Aldi counter. I paid 5€ for you, Garl, but I would never demand less than 20€ for you. That's how much you mean to me, my beloved Garl - 4 times more than the careless Aldi asked for; therefore, I must be 4 times better than Aldi. That means I'm f*cking IKEA, baby!

Post of Genesis

I really, like, LIEK this blugz