The Anatomy Of Mastur... Procrastination

I've been increasingly indifferent towards this blog, and it all comes down to one thing:
Mastur.. Procrastination - why do it today, when you can do it tomorrow? Masturdammit Procrastination is the thief of time, consumer of productivity and murder of discipline - it's the heroin of activities, and the internet is the syringe. A defence for this act could be "the best athletes show grace under pressure" but consider this:

How athletic do you feel when you sit by your computer while sweating more than a sumo wrestler in a sauna?


Yet somehow, procrastinators put themselves in the same position every damn time there's something to be done EVEN THOUGH THE EFFORT REQUIRED IS EXPONENTIALLY INCREASING OVER TIME


I mean... what part of this simple graph is so damn hard to understand? - and please notice that the graph continues to grow AFTER the line of death, as this is the biggest challenge a procrasturba.. procratinator can face: finishing something AFTER the deadline - when there's no further punishment, the motivation is gone, and you can kick back while continuing the practice...

The practice of procrasturnating..procrasturb..promas.. DOING SOMETHING INSTEAD OF SOMETHING can be split into several stages:

1. stage - not even considering writing it
2. stage - still nothing
3. stage - nope, still not doing it
4. stage - hmm... what was I supposed to do? arh, later
5. stage - dammit, soon! ...but not now
6. stage - make some food, and THEN I'll do it!
7. stage - still eating
8. stage - wow, the internet, haven't been there for like, 20 minutes... what's new?
9. stage - back to stage 1

after continuing this cycle for 6-7 hours, nighttime has come, and the demons of the deadline will soon haunt you - you have now entered...

THE 10. STAGE - ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: Word has been opened

11. stage - back to stage 1

HOURS LATER

12. stage - Writing process has begun
13. stage - Level up! - you realize the retarded amount of time wasted, and promise yourself you'll never go through it again
14. stage - you somehow manage to produce a decent product, and you've learned nothing
15. stage - back to stage 1